Just a quick post… 

…To tell you all I’ve arrived safely at my destination. I’m not telling where, that is though.

Nick says ‘hi.’

xx

text@Mini 

• Alo: Thank you for not taking Gracie away with you. That means so much to me, I can't even try and tell you even though I'm sure you know because you love her just as much as I do. I won't ask you to come home to me, Mins, I know you won't until you want to so there's no point in me doing that and I know you'll be back because you won't leave Gracie forever. When you do come back though, I can't promise you I won't be with Effy still - I love you, Mini and you love me too but you treat me like shit. People in love don't do that - you hurt me all the time and you don't even know how much. I'll be here for you however you want me to be but I can't just leave Effy because you want me to. I'm sorry. I know it's not what you want me to say and I don't want to say it but it's true. If Effy wasn't in my life I'd be all yours without a second thought but she is and I can't hurt her, I won't hurt anymore people. Gracie and me are waiting for you here in Briz though and we love you. We love you fuck loads. Gracie told me to put that in here, what words have you been teaching our daughter McGuinness?! Mouths like sailors the pair of you! Seriously though, we do and we hope you're alright whatever you're doing - give us a bell when you can. I love you, Mins.

Don’t forget me, Farmboy.

(via teamrudy)

OOC: FUCK IT. I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE, BITCHES. 

Yeah so I pretty much just bawled my eyes out writing those letters, and I decided I can’t leave. I cross my heart and hope to die promise that this was not a stunt for attention. I was genuinely planning on leaving, as the inbox messages I sent some of you will probably attest to, but I just can’t. I love Mini and Gracie and Alo (and you guys) too much.

SO HERE’S THE PLAN.

I still do need to devote less time to online stuff. I will use the opportunity of Mini’s absence as a SEMI-HIATUS. Mini will be gone from Briz, but I will occasionally drop by to make texts, calls, and to send letters. After all, Mini will want to know what is going on with her baby, if nothing else. But I most likely will not be able to para.

Sorry if my leaving or coming back caused any distress. I just can’t go, yet, apparently.

xx 

Letter to Effy 

[Tucked into Gracie’s baby carrier with two other letters]

Effy,

Don’t get to cozy with my family. I’ll be back soon, and when I do, I’m going to win Alo back.

Just a friendly heads-up.

— Mini

Letter to Gracie 

[Tucked in Gracie’s baby carrier with two other letters.]

Dear Gracie,

I hope you won’t think my leaving means I don’t love you. I love you with every fiber of my being. I have adored you since the moment I realized you were mine. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night. You have given my life purpose: to be the best mother I can be. But I’m worried I haven’t been a very good one lately, so that’s why I’m leaving— just to clear my head. I don’t want you to grow up feeling that I in any way resented you, and right now I’m feeling really claustrophobic and miserable and lonely, and I don’t want to take it out on you. I’ll be back before you even get sick of Daddy!

Love you, Peanut.

xx Mummy

Letter to Alo 

[Tucked in Gracie’s baby carrier with two other letters.]

Dear Alo,

I’m leaving. Actually, by the time you read this, I’ll be gone. I didn’t want to leave, really— but I had to go. I was going mad here in Briz. I mean I could literally feel myself going out of my fucking mind. The house I was living in might as well have been a solitary confinement cell. I had no one to talk to— and don’t go citing that I had you, or Cook, or anyone else. You know it’s not easy for me to trust people, and with Liv, Franky, and Grace gone, I just felt…silenced. Suffocated, even.

I didn’t want to leave the baby behind, either. I packed her up like this, and packed up her stuff, because I was planning on bringing her with me. But then I realized…I couldn’t. I’m determined— still determined— to be the best mother ever, and dragging Gracie along on this journey, one I have to make, wouldn’t be safe for her.

I also can’t really justify taking her away from you. But that’s less to do with Gracie, and more to do with you. I can’t keep the person you love most away from you because…I love you. I never stopped loving you. Not for a moment. Not for a heartbeat. I miss you already. I’ve missed us for months. I still think I did the right thing by insisting we spend some time apart, but now…

I won’t be gone long. Make sure Gracie and Shelly and Eric know that. And I’m not going to wish you well with Effy. Because when I come back…I’m coming back for you.

Yours,

Mini

Letter to Cook 

[Shoved under the door to his flat]

Cook—

If I had anything left to give, it would be yours. But I don’t.

Fuck anyone who says you’re not good enough. Thank you for being there for me.

Sorry,

Mini

I found something. 

It’s a bundle of letters. They’re all in Mini’s handwriting. There’s one for Franky, Liv, and Rich, with instructions to mail them…and here’s the one she wrote for Eric and me.

Dear Mum and Eric,

I’m sorry I had to go. It was all becoming a bit too much. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I just don’t know when that will be.

Help Alo with the baby. He’s very proud, but he’s going to need you.

I love you both.

Your Mini

PS: Eric— pop the question already.

Now if you’ll excuse me, kids, I need to have a bit of a lie-down before I call the police.

— Shelly

Does anyone know where Mini’s got to? 

Some of her things are gone, including her suitcase. Is she over at yours, James?

I’m growing quite nervous. It’s been nearly a day since we last saw her.

— Shelly

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